So I’ve engaged in a bit of ~*~COOKING SCIENCE~*~ lately. Hopefully anyone who’s been here for a while should know that this means I have incredible idea that I need to half-assedly try out. Today’s experiment was based on pizza cones (I know!). I decided to try making my own, but using muffin trays as a mould. THEORETICALLY IT COULD WORK OKAY
The dough was rolled out thin, cut into squres, stuffed into the muffin trays, then filled with a mushy concoction of pizza toppings. I did this while listening to a bunch of male sports commentators discussing whether women’s boxing is good enough for the Olympics. The oldest guy’s argument was essentially his distaste in watching women fight. Gosh it’d be awful if women were to do anything that would challenge a man’s perception of such a ~delicate~ gender.
I was afraid they’d be a soggy mess, but they puffed up like muffins. You can pick them up and carry them around with ease, and you even eat it like an ordinary muffin, except that OH WAIT IT’S PIZZA. This is the best thing I’ve ever made ever. In fact, I don’t understand why my family members aren’t worshipping me more than they are.
They’re good. Really good. If you can make a pizza, you can make these… It’ll take more time, but the novelty is worth it!
Macarons are the new cupcakes. Hipsters are all over them. They’re adorable and colourful, but – misleadingly – don’t look like insta-diabetes, unlike the most picturesque of cupcakes. Instead, they’re like cupcakes for refined, elegant people. People like me. I’m totally classy. All the time. While preparing my beloved macarons, I put a slice of lemon in my green tea. That’s class. Every sip tasted like bitterness and dirt, and twisted my face around worse than Charlie’s lemonade first did. SO FANCY.
Picture me drinking tea with the Queen; I’d have a pained expression the entire time (SUGAR IS FOR SISSIES.)
The yellow means they’re lemon-flavoured (!), but from this angle they kind of look like burgers with sweetened condensed milk as a filling. After all the attempts to get them right, the macarons in this batch are my babies. Macarons take less time to make than cupcakes, and theoretically they’re less complicated, you just have to make them with much love, ie:
- Don’t beat the air out of them. Beat eggs. Add caster sugar. Put down egg beater. Fold in the rest of the ingredients. I forgot that last part, ending up with sugary drippy water. Even better, the whole time I was thinking, oh this needs to be fluffier, I’ll just KEEP THE EGG BEATERS ON FOREVER.
- Let your babies chill out on their trays for a while before putting them in the oven. It stops them from fluffing up in the oven like meringues.
Both of these were why my previous attempts had failed. After figuring it out all by myself in attempt number three (BAKING SCIENCE), I noticed both these things in the instructions. I feel less like I’ve discovered the secret for perfect macarons. >_< At least my parents now think I am especially talented for finally mastering such a "complicated" recipe?
My first exam in over a year..
I have one exam on the 20th and nothing to do until then but study. Sometimes I think “NOOO I HATE EVERYONE WHO DOESN’T HAVE EXAMS“, but as I’m trying to figure out what a Re Denley-style trust is compared to a charitable one (one has identifiable beneficiaries whereas the other doesn’t, even though they’re both geared towards a “purpose” rather than actual beneficiaries? Who even knows), I can’t help thinking “CAN THIS BE MY JOB PLEASE“. The no-longer-resentful corner of my brain then tries figuring out possible logistics of getting a job that’d pay for me to stay at university foreverrrr without needing a student loan. Mother despairs at my new life plan.
On withdrawing from escitalopram
Per doctor’s orders, I’m down to a half a pill. Online I often see people really struggling to get off antidepressants, but um. Nope. Overall feeling better, clear-headed and motivated. Weirdest thing, which may or may not be coincidental, is my haunted index finger. I can feel the tendons flexing without me telling them to and it twitches! :O
I make macarons with a hefty amount of Fail
Cuuuurse these picturesque things that look so simple to make. First batch were radioactive-yellow puffy meringues and they were delicious, but unworthy of the name macarons. In the second attempt, I beat the air out of the mixture and thus had green watery pancakes oozing across the baking trays. If you are Maxine and remember last year’s biscuit disaster, this was worse (!). I then accidentally left them in the oven too long, so they turned out crispy with the colours of a muddy swamp. If I ever perfect this I swear there’ll be photographic proof!
The Unoa Lusis faceplate
As in, I bought one. I don’t even know why because Unoas tend to frustrate me – they have such a potential for cute, but they have dopey eyelids. I’m going to try and get the cute juuust right by sandpapering the eyelids away (my own eyes cringe reading that sentence out of context). As for the body – I think it can share a body with ze incoming Minifee (modding and hybridding! I am a pro). Hooray, army of MSD ladies~
Good luck peoples with exams! And if you’re second year law and feeling smug about no exams, start preparing your notes for the end of the year – you’ll hate yourself if you don’t~! ♥
Today’s post is brought to you by Wendy ~inspiring me to blog~. Let me pretend that life has been super exciting and full of sparkles, hence misleading you into thinking I’m definitely not spending my entire summer holiday on Reddit.
Oh my god, Reddit is so much worse at sucking your life away than Tumblr. I mean, what?
I trick cats to snuggle into boxes.
I put a couple of boxes on the decking just in case Blackberry wanted some shade on a scorcher of a summer day. Summer sucks. Til forever. I have the feeling my cat feels the same way.
Warning: irrelevant cat lady rambling. Today she caught a yellow bird. To get everyone’s attention she made muffled trilling noises only to be kicked out of the house. Not wanting her to feel bad (especially since it takes a Big Deal to make her meow), I watched her eat it. The sound of crunching bones will haunt me forever. Acck, such a vicious cat, I can never look at her the same way again.
My mummy made a birthday cake.
My mum finally made Baby Sister a birthday cake (sort of). This is to make up for the one she owed a few years back – remember how she makes pretty birthday cakes? This is why we don’t let her get away with it! It’s also why I don’t feel like I could possibly be ready to be a mother unless I also had mad cake-making skills.
I had a lot of fun watching her panic around the kitchen trying to get this finished before Baby Sister came home. Then I scribbled on the bench in a white fudge pen. It totally looks like the cat in the top photo DON’T LIE.
…I’m still waiting on my 22nd birthday cake, by the way. Just saying.
Then I tried making panda cupcakes
Such derpy looking pandas… panderps, if you will. What’s even more sad is that these were the best ones from all my experimenting. Blame the oreos. They’ll take any opportunity to crumble on me, those tricksy biscuits. At the very least I’m quite happy to have found a new favourite recipe for vanilla cupcakes in Divine Cupcakes – they’re fluffy and not overly sweet, meaning you can eat more before feeling sick, yussss! The author runs a cupcake shop in Wellington. Cupcakes and Wellington, how perfect does that sound!? Clearly I need to visit… and maybe beg to work there lolol.
SURPRISE, MORE CATS – srsly, whose blog did you think you were reading.
Bought from Hey Chickadee!, and I just found this kitty has a tumblr too. Sometimes I think it looks like a giant lollipop is attached to the cat, but that’s too friggin precious to be considered a flaw. Where would it go if your cat was strapped to a balloon? :O Mine would probz become a menace to the skies. OH GOD FLY AWAY BIRDIES, FUZZY DEATH IS FLOATING YOUR WAAAAY-
PS, you gorgeous law students
I think it’s around this time that invites for second year law come out. If you are one of the anxious people hovering by your mail boxes, I have my fingers crossed super hard!
…The title is such a joke.
I make brownies. A lot. It makes me feel accomplished and gives Mum a reason to feel proud of me. During one of these baking sessions I was feeling particularly courageous and thought, “Oh. My. God. I should add chocolate chips”
and my life changed forever.
Alas, chocolate chips may make the mix look exciting, but when cooked it does little more than make brownies slightly crunchier and I’m a cakey-brownie sort of person. And really, chocolate chips? Amateur. Where was the ambition?? I wanted lush, decadent brownies and I was too lazy to try a new recipe. It also should be noted that the first time I made these brownies they ended up tasting like dirt, so adding random things to a safe recipe is the closest I’ll ever come to being a baking goddess. With this is mind, I therefore dedicated myself to chocolatey brownie science (CUE LIGHTNING FLASH).
You know how sometimes bloggers share their recipes? You’re soon going to realise why it’s good that I’m not one of those.
ADD AAAALL THE THINGS!!
AVOID. AVOID. They floated to the surface and burned before the rest of the mix cooked. Such a gooey brownie mix makes you feel naughty because heehee eating the batter is so bad (it’s the closest I’ll ever get to being a rebel), and then then subtle taste of charred marshmallows makes you think, mmmmm Girl Guides. Not that you eat Girl Guides, but it makes you reminisce about that time you were one, with all the camping and smores.
It was still a total disappointment and tears were shed, but then I gobbled it anyway and it was still good. Would probably be heaven with ice cream. Even my disasters are amazing.
3/4 cake of cooking chocolate
Diced and scattered in. Is it a brownie? Is it a Cooke Time? WHO KNOWS. Mostly because these brownies disappear within the day, so you have no time to do further chocolatey scientific research. This one has earned a place in Mum’s recipes, the kind that have been handed down in the family. It’s such an honour to have my amazing brownie recipe next to “Winifred’s cranberry fruit loaf” (as in, Dad’s mum) and “Mum’s meatloaf” (as in, my granny!), as if I’m finally worthy of being counted in the family tree tree now.
Half a bag of those nomworthy glace cherries
For when you’re feeling indulgent. Especially when your childhood revered glace cherries as appropriate only for special occasions, and you had to sneak them when your mum was making a Christmas cake and you hoped she wasn’t watching. You know it’s true. These took a little longer to be eaten, but it might be because the novelty of being force-fed brownies has finally worn off for my parents. I STILL LOVE THESE THE MOSTEST.
Diced banana (I’m just wildly looking around my kitchen for stuff now)
…Plus some chocolate, because it’s not like adding chocolate could possibly make something worse, right? This super healthy brownie has the bonus of getting one of your 5+ a day if you eat the entire batch! I’m about to go to bed and thus lack the willpower to wait for the brownies to cool down (the melty chocolate also makes them ridiculously soft at this point), so I just spooned a glob of it onto a plate and can confirm that this is a good idea. Like chocolate banana muffins. In future would probably skip on the chocolate, but hey – this is science and as such scientific theories are prone to changing with new evidence is presented, such as my tastebuds’ experience just then.
STOP THE PRESSES: It’s the next day now and the above brownies are so soggy that I could be experiencing the most intense chocolate cravings and I still wouldn’t eat them. My dad has even gone back to eating Mallowpuffs instead of my baking. Woeee!
You might quite rightly be wondering why there are no photos of these pitiful experiments. This is because it’s impossible to make any of these look good. Just imagine brown goop. Unless it had cooking chocolate thrown at it, in which case imagine brown goop with more brown oozing out of it. QUALITY BAKING.
Psst, I used this recipe:
- 1 cup flour
- 1 cup sugar
- 1/4 cup cocoa
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1 tsp vanilla essence (I recommend the stuff with the seeds because it makes you feel super fancy and I’m all over that.)
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 2 eggs (Make them free range or the souls of tormented cage chickens will haunt your brownies. Not tasty!)
- 125g butter (It must be exact or everything will be ruined… lol jk, but no rly.)
Bake at 180 degrees for about 35 minutes or until your brownie-loving intuition says it’s ready. Hurr!