I haven’t actually seen this movie (even though I so very much want to!). In the meantime, I came across this weird little thing. It’s me in cartoon form!
An explanation
- My last haircut was in December. I like pretending no one can tell.
- The only inaccurate thing about this outfit: I always wear long sleeves; exposed arms makes me feel vulnerable and strange. YOU CAN FEEL THE AIR ON THEM. SO DISTRACTING. Summer is uncomfortable.
- I habitually wear scarves. The security blanket I can hide my hands in.
- Crazed expression reflects my current state of mind. Intense dissatisfaction with Classics. Need to buy meaningful birthday presents. Can’t do legal research, so my Torts exam will be worth 100%. Constantly thinking of running away and studying optometry. Or at least, finally, finally becoming a florist.
- I always carry a block of wood with me too (and a snooty cat, naturally) = why walking alone at night doesn’t scare me. I am from Geraldine, you guys.
(Obviously, I have been procrastinating.)
OMG YOU GUYS! DO YOU NEED AN AMAZING A+ ESSAY TO MEMORISE/RECITE IN YOUR LAWS101 EXAM?? YOU KNOW THE QUESTION I’M TALKING ABOUT. 
…KIDDING.
YOU HAVE FOUR WEEKS LEFT UNTIL EXAM LEAVE. YOU HAVE TIME TO WRITE/PERFECT AN ESSAY. DO NOT LEECH OFF SOMEONE ELSE’S EFFORTS AND USE SOMEONE ELSE’S ESSAY. IF YOU CANNOT WRITE AN ESSAY, YOU WILL SUCK AT LAW.
~*~BELIEVE IN YOURSELF~*~ DON’T RELY ON THE TALENTS OF OTHER PEOPLE TO GET YOU INTO LAW. WHERE’S YOUR SENSE OF HONOUR, MAN.
And despite that being quite caps locky, I totally mean that.
STEP AWAY FROM GOOGLE. EVERYTIME I SEE “OTAGO LAWS101 ESSAYS” IN MY WEBSTATS, I DIE INSIDE.
Every so often I get people googling for “second year law” and other Otago related things (like first year health sci and cutiespotter – I am a keyword placement ninja heh). It was about this time last year that second year law had me in much despair, and now I’ve realised every second year is susceptible to this. Probably because you’re stuck in Archway 4 for four hours a day. It must be catching.
So I offer cuddles, but mostly stern warnings.
In LAWS101 you were allowed days off to mope. You could give up going to lectures, hide in bed, pretend there’s nothing to worry about… Making up for missed lectures was slightly inconvenient, but manageable. This year you’ll regret every missed lecture – it’ll take so much more time to catch up, and you don’t have much time left. When you’re panicking at the end of the year, you don’t look too fondly on that self-indulgent moping. Yes, it sucks now, but it’ll feel worse at the end of the year. 
Terribly optimistic, I know! “Stop feeling sorry for yourself, the worst is yet to come!”
If time travel existed, I’d tell myself this:
how to (better) avoid death by exams
- Get out of bed, you’re not going to fail.
- Make beautiful, concise study notes.
- Write practice legal opinions for tutorials.
Ohhhh, how I wish I’d done that. Do the above, and you won’t be looking at old exam papers the night before the exam. For the first time. At 4am. Panicking because planning a question just took 45 minutes. Scary, scary night. (It wasn’t out of laziness, there just wasn’t enough time. Don’t be like me. ;_;)
I then went into my Public Law exam without knowing what old exam papers looked like. Ditto, Criminal Law, only that one was also with two hours sleep, and I barely managed to finish half the exam properly.
I passed. I didn’t pass well, needless to say. It truly must take a lot to fail (when sleep deprived I have nothing intelligent to say), so banish that “THERE IS NO POINT IN TRYING” feeling. Instead, work on avoiding the upcoming “I MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE TO REPEAT THIS YEAR OH GOD” one!
BONUS: crib sheet tips
- Make them for the open book exams too. You lose time flicking through your notes.
- I formatted my pages to have 2 vertical columns. You can also shrink 8 pages to fit 1 side (readable with an 11pt font, from memory).
- A heavily serif’d font, like Times, is difficult to read in teeny sizes. Use Trebuchet MS or Calibri.
- NO CRIB SHEET = DEATH. Don’t leave it to the last minute – It’s totez a motherly thing to say, but you don’t need extra stress, omgg. St Margaret’s printer was broken the night before my Public Law exam, and I only just made it to the uni printshop on time. ~HORRIFIC NOSTALGIA~
- I sometimes used kanji, which took up less room than the English (I got desperate, yes). I used them for simple things like “days”, “time”… and found it pretty convenient, since you could spot them easily on the page.
I love you, my second years. It’ll be over soon. Except that’s a lie. HAH.
Disclaimer: The sadness second year Law folks get is probably quite laughable to Health Scis, but you guys, we haven’t been conditioned to studying this hard. ;_;
