I love you and all, but I think we need a break

Posted on 11 November 2009 and tagged Law.

So our relationship status has become, “it’s complicated”. It’s tough going at the moment. I can’t sleep, because it’s all I can think of. I can’t get up in the mornings. Maybe the worst thing is that he just doesn’t understand what I’m going through at the moment. Law is a sucky boyfriend:

Always changing his mind.. Only Law can make a decision that still manages to leave things uncertain. (Sutton v O’Kane – You make a decision, that should be it, but nooooo! Strong dissent from Turner P, fffffff.)
Not even I can analyse him thoroughly enough (and I am king of over-analysing!).
Too conservative! He tries. He really does. He just moves along so cautiously, worrying that radical changes are going to make people hate him, and compromises on anything interesting…
So vague! Only Law could take words from ordinary language, mess around with the meaning until it becomes something only professionals could understand.
So cold and detached! He putters around, reducing the most horrific events one could endure to a battle of words. Someone’s murdered and he wonders, “I wonder which section this fall under, durrrr”. (Actually that’s a lie, I love this part of Law, in a bewildering sort of way.)
He finishes too fast (lolololol). I’m still going, and it’s like I still need another half hour!, but he’ll only warn me that I have to make do with fifteen little minutes, and despite how much that may annoy me, I’m not allowed to leave the room. This is beginning to sound a little abusive.

I can’t sleep, because I’m also cheating on Law with Sacrifice, sometimes several times a day (I have no shame), and the memory of its reassuring words wash over me every night before I sleep (“YOUR CREATURES ARE DYING. ALL OF YOUR MANAHOARS HAVE BEEN SLAUGHTERED. AN ENEMY WIZARD IS APPROACHING YOUR ALTAR.”).

But I can never escape the guilt.

What about all the commitment I have with Law? I can’t throw away all that I’ve invested in our relationship over this year; it was tough enough trying to woo him into accepting me last year. Apparently that all means nothing when reliving a stupid fling I had so many years ago… So every night I decide I’ll start afresh in the morning, that I’ll really put in an effort and this time it’ll work. Every morning, however, I decide I’m just going to keep sleeping – because, hey, maybe it’s not as bad as I think.

Law, you’re not making it easy for me to love you at all. ;_;

(Old post is old, I finished exams today, yus~)