Behind the scenes of pd.org

Sometimes I think of something so irrelevant to anything that’s happened in real life that it doesn’t have a place in my LiveJournal. Instead of joining the record that is my amazing life, something magical begins to happen… and it is… a new post to panda-duh.org (DUN DUN DUNNNN).

Oh how exciting. Let us take a journey, and behold how this marvellous thing comes into being.

But alas, the first hurdle comes all too soon – my thoughts are often very disjointed and I never know what comes first, so I need to put it in order. This takes an excruciatingly long time (I am the smarts lol). In the midst of it I’ll think, “NO I SHOULD SAY IT LIKE THIS, IT SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER. OH GOD I SOUND SO CLEVER“… don’t ever think I’m not egotistical.

Midway through my ego trip I’ll get distracted and write about something even more irrelevant, but eventually I’ll have something that needs to be filed away somewhere. I won’t have the heart to delete it (because I’m in love with myself and everything that I write, even if I cringe at it later), so I post it here and get this satisfied, clean feeling.

It’s a long time before that happens. Before I post I’ll sit on it for a week, just to make sure I still like it. More tweaking happens. I once waited a month before posting something truly passive aggressive, whereas other posts were published as soon as I finished them because I’m so convinced I’m right – like how much Bambi sucks.

Some things have never been published. Like this:

These last few months I’ve been downloading Dir en grey PVs. Not because I want to watch all of them; in fact, there are only a few that I really want to see… but I have to download all of them. I need to have the whole set.

One day I might decide that I really really do need to watch Kyo with stupid flicky hair, frolicking around on a lawn singing, “GAAARDDEENNNN”. If there was ever a day when he wanted to be thought of as cute, it would have been then.

This is why I’m up late all night.

That snippet of writing gold been sitting in a .txt document since mid-2007. As utterly pointless as it is I’ve got to keep a lot of things I write – again, because I’m in love with myself. And that’s why I blog.