Just kidding. UNLESS, you do these six very simple things. And yes, this is part two to I Hate Your Blog. Two posts from one general idea? I am a clever one.
- Buy shiny things and show them off.
I have less than six months of being a teenage girl, and I want to make the most of it. I’ve been increasingly interested in blogs like this. It’s the shiny colours and pretty material.
- Post photos!
It breaks up the text, and little illustrations make you seem like more of a real person. They don’t even have to be of you.
- Bitch about the boy (or girl) that screwed you around instead of something mundane like global warming.
I secretly loves me some trivial drama.
- Post things about Obama.
I’ll also remind you that I like pictures. I like Obama in a very superficial, embarrassing way.
- Incorporate links for sponsored posts in little random places.
It’s like random humour. I don’t know. It’s cute. I’M MAKING MONEY BUT I’M NOT SELLING OUUUT
- Have pictures of cats. And stories of cats. Cats are the best.
Help me out – I don’t have a cat anymore and I can’t get another one. Puppies and bunnies are also acceptable. :3
Just kidding. UNLESS:
- Are you married? Do you have babies?
The most interesting blogs are the ones by people in my age group (ish), doing things that I usually do – but with more of a life and a better writing style.
- In response to Obama being elected, did you post something saying “YES WE DID“?
You know that we’re not saved just because he’s not McCain, right?
- Are you really interesting, only to post once a month?
This frustrates me to no end. Stop teasing me, you.
- Do you refer to your boyfriend as The Lover?
It feels tacky. As is dedicating a page on your website to him. I hate sappy tributes like this.
- Do you use the frilliest language possible?
You’re running a blog. It’s not a dissertion. I hate it when people are formal.
- “Edward Cullen’s real!” Have you ever hoped for or insisted this?
It’s fine to like the stupid series. It’s embarrassing to be so obsessed about it.
And now you know.
George W Bush is about to be replaced by someone who’s intelligent and looks amazing without a shirt on. Shaaaaame. And sure, Bush may have been a terrible President, and he may have started illegal wars. But Bush and I have something in common – aside from the whole, world-domination-as-a-hobby thing.
His cat died. I feel sorry for him.
Just when he was able to get away from all his duties, and would have had more time for his cat, his cat died. It’s not really fair. Just like how mine died just before I was able to go home for semester break. Sucks.
Did Bush ever let his cat sleep on his bed, and then wake up to have her throwing up just inches away from his face? Did India (er, his cat’s name) ever catch mice for him?
He was President of the United States, and I bet his cat never sat at his feet, gazing up him adoringly while he worked. Mine did. I win. I bet his cat wasn’t even allowed in the Oval Office. I bet his cat didn’t realise how important Bush was. I wonder if he appreciated that cat enough. I hope he did.
I was thirteen when I started learning Latin. Teachers would tell me that it’d be really useful, because I could go and learn more of the Romance languages that much more easily. The next year I also took up Japanese. Hee hee hee.
I love that. Latin will always be the only thing I’m good at, and it’s not even practical for me. I don’t want to learn those Romance languages; studying French is sooo cliche. Like no one studies Japanese, aha. It’d be handy to learn Italian though. Because of Latin, I realised could understand a little of it. For a moment there I grew a little fond of it, and that’s the only reason.
I’ve also decided that Mandarin sounds quite awesome (fun with tonal languages, and no chance of learning enough characters!), and Vietnamese looks interesting (their alphabet looks like English’s… only it’s not!). But the language I really, deeply, truly, etc-ly want to learn is Russian.
I wail a lot about wanting to learn Russian, feeling sorry for myself because I decided against going to a university which teaches it. Russian sounds so pretty, and I especially ike the way their Ts sound. Just their word for ‘no’ (“NYET!”) is so nifty. There’s also something pretty cool about learning to read a new alphabet. Last summer I tried learning Russian online. When I worked out that a particular word said something like “BRAZEELYA”, and then realised this meant, “BRAZIL”, there was a tiny one-geek party at four in the morning.
I don’t want to learn a new language because it’d be easy – Italian would be easy to learn, but I doubt I’d go and study it. It’s the ones that sound completely random I’d learn instead. In a sense, Latin put me off learning several different languages. Quite handy. As practical as it’ll ever get, really.
I live in the middle of nowhere and have no driver’s license. Awesome.
3pm: wake up. Earlier in the holidays I was always appalled with myself for waking up a few minutes after noon. Now I don’t care. I’ll even go back to sleep if it’s only 1pm. There’s nothing to do, but endure hot temperatures.
4pm – 8pm: listen to really really loud music for an hour to wake up properly, read all the newspapers I can, kill self on a treadmill for half an hour, internet (checking webstats, /r9k/, and blogs I wish were updated everyday).
8pm -12am: kill self on treadmill for another half an hour, watch a little trashy TV (when there’s nothing on, turn to E!), write stupid things that eventually turn up on panda-duh.
12am: try sleeping.
1am: give up on sleeping. Watch the OC. :3
3am: three episodes later, get hungry and then angst because of it (can’t go to sleep hungry, but eating food late at night makes a fat Becka…).
4am: possibly asleep by now… if I’m lucky.
Over a month and a half until this is all over. I’m over halfway there, at least.