Guess where I want a job.
Air conditioning is the thing that first made me consider it. Everyone knooowwws doing anything in the summer (let alone working) is the suckiest thing in the world. Like. Ever. Air conditioning’d make this a little more bearable, and there’s none of that at a lowly petrol station.
The local supermarket has red polo shirts. Now red’s always eyecatching, and the polo shirt is obviously a very flattering item of clothing. And then you realise – you’re going to be wearing a very classy uniform. You know what else is classy? Audrey Hepburn. Daaaaamn.
The work itself isn’t too demanding, I hear from a check-out chick veteran. This way, you can let your mind drift and think of things… Getting two things done at once? Only at a supermarket! This way, I could figure out solutions to important issues of today, such as, “OMG WHAT’S WITH THAT TEXT FROM TWO WEEKS AGO”.
Still, working at a supermarket can’t be boring because you’re on the other side of the EFTPOS machine. Now, this is pretty cool; it’s like a whole new side to shopping. I bet you still get the buzz of using it, only you’re not actually losing money. Win-win!
To add more variety to the workload, once I saw a friend working at a supermarket. She used an intercom. “Keys, please” she said. Her voice was dull and soulless. It was awesome. This would be an excellent opportunity to develop a ‘telephone voice’, or at least practise different accents. I’m right, you know I am.
In fact, just talking to people as they come to pay for things gives a lot of chances at this small talk thing. I fail at it, so I’ll need a lot of chances. You mean I could leave work with actual life skills? Bonus!
Also, otherwise I’m going to leave university with a useless degree, huge student loan, and no work experience. Of course people would want to employ me!
I’ve been thinking like this every day for the last week. Surprisingly, this is supposed to be a good thing.
See, since being at university, my house grew a treadmill. I’m tragically unfit, so I’m trying to use this to some advantage. Oh god. Also because doing a whole lot of nothing makes me feel like I’m just sleeping all the time (my brain has successfully stopped working!).
Thirty minutes a day, man. I’m-a do it. I have so much energy afterward (although not immediately, haha) I dance when there’s no music. Nevermind that I do that anyway. Endorphins are yummy, and being all sweaty and gross is a new thing for me too. The problem is, once that’s no longer a novelty, what then? Hmm…
If I can successfully make a declaration via panda-duh to never play Free Cell again in order to break a habit, hopefully doing the same here will actually create a habit.
…You know, if I could declare that I’m going to stop saving pictures of Obama looking gorgeous, then we’d be all set. I’m just saying.
I had the following conversation today with someone working at the counter.
NOT ME: “So you have any plans for the weekend?”
ME: “….Uh… No. Not really..”
“Ohh yeah… but those are the best kind of weekends!”
“…………….” (I’m king of awkward silences, btw)
While using EFTPOS if the absolute shizzle, the whole “talking to the person behind the counter” thing sucks. We’re not going to see each other after this, we have nothing in common, and we mean nothing to each other. Don’t talk to me… pleeeease. ;_;
I also hate it when the shop assistants swan around saying things like, “HOW’RE YOU GOING? DO YOU NEED HELP WITH ANYTHING? OMG LIEK”. If I see them coming I avoid them. Also, pathetically shy as I may be, if I need help, yes – I will ask you!
I hate all that. Possibly even more than the Twilight crap. They missed out on me as a fan at all the moment they thought vampires were awesome.
Whilst I was like, totally omg shopping today, I picked up that book. Opened to a random page to read a random sentence. It is, undeniably, literary gold. Nonetheless, I then went to buy this book. For my sister. Who is suddenly a fan. Turns out I like my sister more than hating things (it’s a hobby, whoo~).
It was mortifying. I didn’t talk to the woman at the counter at all. It was hard enough just trying to meet her eyes, and say “….Thanks” at the end of it all. Oh god, don’t talk to me.
In other words, what to do once I realise life goes on… even after realising I’m a total failure (lololol!).
a). Finish degree in Japanese and politics
Whilst accepting that I’m mediocre and will never get a decent job. Once I finish university I’ll be screwed. 
This is the default plan.
b). Try science instead
I might as well try and get a useless degree in something that people actually have more respect for. I keep wanting to see how well I’d do if I actually wanted to do well in it. I’m getting a little desparate, yes. …I don’t think I’d go far though (would remember that science is lame), so this plan would ultimately revert back to a).
c). Try First-Year Law again… at Canterbury
Knowing that if I got in this time, it’s not like I actually deserve to be in there anyway since I got in on the second go. And also that, stupidly enough, while doing first year Law, I’ll see everything they’re doing and be all, “WHATEVER I KNOW ALL THIS RAAAHH” and somehow think I’m superior.
d). Classics
And Latin. Probably Greek too (and still studying Japanese for kicks). I’ll become ultimate Classics nerd, and while I’ll have the most useless degree ever, I’ll still be all smiles because it’s Classics. After all, I’m the one who giggled in an elevator after officially being let into taking a Latin paper.
…But judging by my LAWS101 result, I may not have to choose any of them. Yus!
STUFF THAT WASN’T QUITE SO AWESOME:
- The constant fear of having your internet monitored. I missed the internet hate machine. Until I caved.
- Exams being twice a year, and needing to learn way more than we ever did in high school… I want to die.
- Before, I never thought I could hate potatoes more.
- I can’t major in Latin here. ;_;
- Loud people outside my door when I’m trying to sleep. I love the people on my floor and all, but I kinda wanted to stab them in the face when they were doing that.
- How no one was allowed to use the elevators in Clyde Wing. After they were unlocked at the end of the year and I played games in them, I found out they were originally locked to stop people like me. Bahahah.
STUFF THAT DOESN’T BELONG ON THE FIRST LIST (BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE MISLEADING!):
- Super fast internet. When you can actually access the atrocity that is Bebo, it’s not that bad. It’s rather addicting instead…
- I have developed mad EFTPOS card skillz.
- Taking lots of photos. I never did that much in 2007.
- My Political Studies lecturer from first semester – or the fun I have in being a fan of him. Actually all of my lecturers, and I get a trifle too excited after running into them outside of lectures. It’s embarrassing.
- The food is very mysterious a lot of the time. Meal times have been turned into an adventure.
- Even at the end of the year, I still got lost in Dunedin. It’s great fun.